Clarity the Key to Creating Your Perfect Life

By Katana Abbott

Clarity truly is the key to creating your perfect life, unfortunately most people don’t have clarity of what their perfect life is.  It’s important to create your vision.  I want you to take a moment to sit down in a quite place, and visualize your perfect life three years from now.  What would it look like?

Try this exercise -

Imagine it’s three years form now, and you are getting ready in the morning, looking in the mirror and you have a smile on your face — a big grin.  What’s happening in your life today?   Where are you going? What are you going to where?  Who are you meeting?  Where are you living and with whom?

Take a moment to write down what has to happen between now and three years to make these things happen.  You don’t need to know how to do these things, just write down what would need to happen or change.  Write these in present tense and under the three categories below.

Personal – My life is joyful, abundance and effortless, I go to yoga three times a week, and love riding my bike through the wet lands each morning.  I enjoy traveling, speaking and writing – my new book is a success! I love my home on the lake – my life is a vacation every day.

Relationships - My daughters are thriving and creating their own joyful lives now. I love going to weekly concerts with my husband.  We are closer than ever!  I make time to enjoy deep relationships with close friends by planning dates in advance.

Money and Work - My business is running without me.  My virtual team takes care of all the details! I am focused on doing what I love 80% of the time, and it’s paying off because my business is thriving.   We are on track with our financial goals and update our financial plan quarterly.

Focus On What You Want – Not What You Don’t Want

Now print out your affirmations, and put them where you can read them daily.  The next step will be taking action on the goals and working through any challenges, but the first secret is to get really, really clear about what you want and why you want it.  Once you do, the magic will begin and you will literally begin to attract what you want into your life.

If you are foggy about what you want or you only focus on what you don’t want from a “fear” prospective, the Universe will bring you more of that…more fog and fear.

You can make a list, create a vision board, but make sure you create something visual and focus on it every day with emotion and intention.  You can also share your goals and dreams with others.  This may create some fear – but begin to move in the direction of what you want and watch the magic begin.

Magazine Article: Lessons of Famously Bad Estate Planning

The May 2010 issue of Insurance News Net Magazine, written for insurance and other financial professionals, has a great feature on how lessons drawn from famous estate screw-ups can help promote proper estate planning.  (Gee, that sounds familiar.)  Co-author of Trial & Heirs:  Famous Fortune Fights !, Danielle Mayoras, was quoted extensively in the article, and several stories and lessons from our book were featured in the story.  Here’s the beginning of the article: Admit it: You can’t resist celebrity news. You’re standing at the grocery checkout behind someone who still uses checks, and then you notice the gossip rags. You can’t help but look and shake your head: “Tiger Woods did what? Brad wants to remarry Jennifer? Kirstie Alley is obese—again?” Let’s face it—celebrity foibles are even more enticing than are the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups calling your name. Sex might sell, but silliness does too. And celebrity screw-ups can help sell one of the most unsexy things out there: estate planning. Sure, people know they should have a will, but if you tell them about the many celebrity disasters that have ensued because of the absence of a will, you’re likely to grab clients’ attention. Guitar great Jimi Hendrix died without a will in 1970, setting up a family fight that would end up in court more than 30 years later. His father, Al, had cut Jimi’s brother out of the estate and left the Hendrix legacy in control of Al’s adopted daughter, Janie, from his second marriage. And even though Al had built an $80 million business called Experience Hendrix, he reportedly still did not complete Jimi’s grave site. Odds are good that Jimi Hendrix would not have expected these turns of events, but he had no say in the matter because he did not leave a will. Because of undefined intent, the celebrity universe is filled with questionable handling of legacies. Sometimes it is not failure but overwhelming success that generates criticism, as in the Bob Marley case. The Marley estate in 2009 signed a deal with a private-equity firm to sell merchandise worldwide to generate as much as $1 billion, prompting some to ask if that is what Bob Marley would have wanted. Forbes, for example, asked, “Could this be commercial overkill for the Rastafarian whose spiritual songs about social injustice, hope, and redemption have become anthems for billions of fans, from Marrakech to Tokyo, and will it alienate them?” Here’s a link to the full story in the magazine .  Remember, using stories of celebrity estate battles is a great way to motivate family members and clients to do the proper planning! By Andrew W. Mayoras and Danielle B. Mayoras, co-authors of “Trial and Heirs: Famous Fortune Fights!” and husband-and-wife legacy expert attorneys. As educators across the United States through speaking engagements, print, broadcast, and social media, Danielle and Andrew consistently draw rave reviews and are in high demand. Email them at  contact@trialandheirs.com .

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Magazine Article: Lessons of Famously Bad Estate Planning

Detroit Free Press article on celebrity estate fights

This past Sunday’s Detroit Free Press featured an article, written by business columnist Susan Tompor, about “Trial & Heirs:  Famous Fortune Fights!” and how families can learn from celebrity estate fights.  Here’s part of it: What can you learn about estate planning from TMZ.com, the celebrity gossip site?  Plenty. Errors involving celebrity estates can motivate everyday families to talk ahead of time about who gets Mom’s blown-glass collection — long before things get overblown. Or at least that’s the theory being promoted by Troy attorneys Danielle B. and Andrew W. Mayoras. “The reality is we’re a celebrity-based culture, for better or worse,” said Danielle, an estate planning attorney. The couple, both partners at Barron, Rosenberg, Mayoras & Mayoras in Troy, popped up last year on TV’s “Rachael Ray Show” — you can see the interview on YouTube.com — to talk about their book, “Trial & Heirs: Famous Fortune Fights!” Andrew also has a blog, www.probatelawyerblog.com , that tracks the twists and turns in celebrity estate battles, such as the struggle over Michael Jackson’s will and the potential tax nightmare facing the widow of slain NFL quarterback Steve McNair. “The celebrity-gossip angle of the stories does make it more interesting for people,” said Danielle. Sure, celebrities live on another financial planet, and usually leave a lot more to fight over than the rest of us do. They also can afford far more legal advice. Anyone can make mistakes Even so, “Trial & Heirs” and the blog show how anyone can mess things up when it comes to giving away their wealth after death. Jackson, for example, died at 50 but had made a will and set up a trust for his children. But like so many everyday fathers or mothers, he didn’t take the next key step — funding the trust or re-titling his assets into it. Now, it’s a family mess. Danielle said Andrew’s grandfather almost faced the same issue — until she raised the issue with him. Another bit of advice from the book: It is usually not advisable to choose your estate planning attorney to also serve as your trustee. Sonny Bono, the Detroit native who made his name as a 1960s pop singer before entering politics and winning election to Congress, died in a skiing accident at age 62 without a will. His widow had to deal with claims filed by creditors against his estate, including one filed by Sonny’s second wife and original singing partner, Cher, who said she was owed money from their divorce. And then a man came out of the blue and filed a legal claim saying he was Bono’s son. A valid will — which two out of three people don’t have — could have solved many problems, according to “Trial & Heirs.” The authors stress that estate plans need to be updated when couples divorce, have another child or have a family member with special needs. You can read the full article here . By Andrew W. Mayoras and Danielle B. Mayoras, co-authors of “Trial and Heirs: Famous Fortune Fights!” and husband-and-wife legacy expert attorneys. As educators across the United States through speaking engagements, print, broadcast, and social media, Danielle and Andrew consistently draw rave reviews and are in high demand. Email them at  contact@trialandheirs.com .

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Detroit Free Press article on celebrity estate fights

Lessons From a House

Excerpt from Carole’s book House Alive: Conversations with Your Home to be released in 2010. Ben bought a small attractive home while he was going through a divorce. A big challenge he was facing was his ex-wife’s demand for money.  He was already paying child support, giving her their home and furnishings, turning over most of the retirement savings, and yet she wanted more.  There were three major challenges in the money area of Ben’s new home:  a fireplace, a missing piece, and a back door.  These features metaphorically matched his current situation:  money was being burned up (by the position of the fireplace); money was” missing” (mirrored by the missing area of the house); and the money that he did earn had a direct path out (through the back door).  As we discussed the reality of his home, Ben was discouraged and angry that he had walked into a scenario that echoed the situation around his failing marriage—-money challenges.  He was furious with himself at how much he had given to his ex-wife and wondered why he hadn’t taken a stand for his own needs and demands.  It was her idea to get a divorce, after all.  Ben was exasperated by the fact that he runs out of money before his next paycheck, despite the fact that he is one of the highest paid employees at his company.  Certainly the help of a therpaist provided insights to his beliefs.  And a Feng Shui consultation added more information and ideas.  It is my experience that living in a space which requires you to pay attention to a compromised area is the best way to learn about that issue.  As you make Feng Shui adjustments in the afflicted area, you see them as symbols for what needs to be changed.  As he hung a mirror over his fireplace, Ben learned to say “no” to his kids and to his ex-wife.  As he planted a lush and healthy plant in the missing money area outside the house, he saw that as a metaphor for committing to his budget no matter what.   Hanging a windchime by his backdoor in the money area was a continual alarm clock to remind him about re-building his own next egg.  For the first time, he watched his patterns and his emotions and was able to forecast when he might let down his financial boundaries and fall into a vulnerable spending spree.  He came to appreciate his money and treated it with respect.  Ben realized that his house, bought in a split second of despair, had provided him “opportunities”  to turn his issue around.  It was the steady presence of this little home, without judgment or impatience, that enabled him to dig deep and find some answers—and change a life-long pattern. As Ben saw it, the challenged money area in his house became an asset to him.

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Lessons From a House

Kiplinger’s article: Cut the Lawyer out of your Will?

Kiplinger’s Personal Finance Magazine has an interesting article that’s coming out in the March 2010 issue, about do-it-yourself estate planning.  It was written by Jane Bennett Clark, Senior Associate Editor: You’ve been dragging your feet for ages on writing a will and drawing up other estate-planning documents. Now, to avoid the hassle and expense of hiring a lawyer, you’re considering using online forms to get the job done. Companies such as Nolo, LegalZoom and Rocket Lawyer allow you to do just that. Not only do they provide do-it-yourself estate-planning documents, but they also offer guidance on filling them out and general information on estate-planning issues. The cost for such off-the-rack estate planning? As little as $50 for a simple will to $220 or so for a package that includes a will and a living trust. That’s cheap compared with the $300 a lawyer might charge for a simple will or the $1,000 or more that a comprehensive estate plan might run you. Still, you get what you pay for, says Danielle Mayoras, an estate-planning attorney and coauthor, with Andrew Mayoras, of Trial & Heirs (Wise Circle; $20 at Amazon.com). Although the products themselves may be sound, one size doesn’t fit all, says Mayoras. “They don’t address as many what-ifs as if you had an attorney with you.” Last will and testament. Using an online will makes sense if your finances and circumstances are uncomplicated, says Joanna Grossman, a professor at Hofstra University School of Law, but “people don’t know whether they do, in fact, have a simple situation.” If you go the do-it-yourself route, be sure to have the will properly witnessed, says Betsy Simmons, an estate-planning attorney at Nolo. “You’re not done until you do all the things that make it official.” If your situation is, in fact, more complex — you want to disinherit a family member, say, or provide for a child with special needs, or shield a large estate from estate taxes — consult a lawyer. (The federal estate tax was repealed for 2010, but Congress is expected to reinstate it retroactively.) Revocable living trust. Often used for large or complex estates, this vehicle lets you transfer ownership of your assets to a trust that you control and avoid the public process of probate when you die. If you decide you need a living trust, hire a lawyer. Trusts are, by nature, tailored to particular situations, and they have a lot of complicated rules, warns Grossman. A lawyer will also have you fund the trust properly, which involves transferring the title on everything — from the deed on your house to bank and brokerage accounts — from your name to the trust. Failure to do so (a common rookie mistake) renders the trust inoperable, says David Shulman, an estate-planning attorney in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. Durable power of attorney. This document lets you appoint a representative to manage your financial affairs should you become incapacitated. Depending on your intentions — and state law — it goes into effect either as soon as the document is executed or if you become mentally incompetent. In contrast, a regular power of attorney ceases to exist if you become incapacitated. It pays to work with a lawyer to make sure you use the right documents and choose the right person for this important job. Advance directives. You need two state-specific documents: a living will, in which you specify the treatment you want to receive if you cannot speak for yourself, and a durable health-care power of attorney, in which you appoint someone to make health-care decisions on your behalf when you cannot. They are available free through hospitals and state medical societies. You don’t need a lawyer to fill them out, but you should discuss the provisions with a doctor and your health-care proxy before signing the documents. [ click here to see the article on Kiplinger.com ] The article has some good advice.  We always advocate working with an experienced estate planning attorney .  People who try to use a preprinted form, or trust or will kit, usually end up costing their families much more than they save in legal fees.  Don’t take shortcuts with your legacy! Posted by:  Andrew W. Mayoras & Danielle B. Mayoras, co-authors of Trial & Heirs :  Famous Fortune Fights! and co-founders and shareholders of  The Center for Probate Litigation and  The Center for Elder Law   in metro-Detroit, Michigan, which concentrate in probate litigation, estate planning, and elder law.  Andrew & Danielle are husband and wife attorneys.

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Kiplinger’s article: Cut the Lawyer out of your Will?

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