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July 10, 2008

When Parents Need Caregiving: How to Prepare for that Call in the Night

Filed under: Katana Abbott's Posts

Pat Samplesby Katana Abbott
Founder, Smart Women’s Coaching

As women, we are often expected to fill multiple roles: loving mother, career woman, supportive wife or partner and for many, a new role – that of a caregiver to aging parents or disabled loved ones. For the last 20 years, I have helped clients create financial plans for their “golden years,” and address issues of aging and remaining independent.

We all dread the idea of that “call in the night” - the one that means we must step into the “Designated Daughter” role, manage our parent’s lives and make tough decisions about their care and welfare. But for many of us, that call will come, and it pays to have everything in place in advance. Here are five steps that you can take now to get prepared:

Step 1 - Get Organized
Before attempting to discuss financial, tax and estate planning issues with your loved ones, be sure to sit down with a financial advisor and get your own life plan in order.

Step 2 - Initiate “The Discovery Conversation” with Your Loved Ones
One way to initiate this conversation is to ask them what they would do if something happened to you. Do they know the names and contact information of your advisors? Your doctors? Do they know where to find documents such as your will, or medical forms? This may help lead the conversation into what your role would be for them. Are you needed as a caregiver, a trustee, or a personal representative? Who else might be involved? Knowing this up front will help you plan for your own future.

Step 3 - Start Planning as Early as Possible Don’t wait until the unexpected happens. It’s never too early to start planning for the unexpected. Meeting with an attorney, financial planner and insurance agent to create the proper planning may be all it takes to make sure your needs are met. Planning early when your have the most options makes sense – being proactive rather than reactive. Step 4 - Consider Purchasing Long Term Care Insurance
Start the conversation when your parents or loved ones are young and healthy and then suggest that they apply for long term care insurance as early as possible. We are living much longer and the need for healthcare and related services is exploding. In fact, seriously consider purchasing your own policy now while you are still healthy and the premiums are affordable!

Step 5 - Create a Team of Trusted Advisors This is not the time for-do-it-yourself-planning. Find a “key advisor” who is an eldercare expert and have them manage the team with you based on your loved ones goals, values and objectives. The final product should enable your loved ones to maintain their dignity, lifestyle and assets. It should also meet the needs of the caregiver. The end result: everyone involved should be able to sleep better at night knowing all concerns have been addressed and that a team and a plan is in place to meet the unexpected.


Katana Abbott is currently writing, “Secrets from a Midlife Millionaire – Create Your Perfect Life”. After a 20-year career, she left her $100 million investment management and financial planning practice to follow her dream of helping women find their passion, be financially aware and prepared, have access to the right resources and meet some of the top business-building experts in the country. Visit www.smartwomenscoaching.com to sign up for her free 7-part audio mini course, “Your Perfect Life Focus” and to access her other programs!

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