We don’t have a financial plan…
Dear Katana,
I feel like I am living my life on blind faith; I know that I have been raised better, but I essentially make money, hand it over to my husband, and hope he pays all of the bills on time. I have endlessly said that we need a budget, a game plan, etc. It just never comes to be. I feel like if I push too much, it creates marital problems, but by sticking my head in a hole in the ground, I am going to never accumulate anything. It’s very tough. It seems like we make more than enough money to cover everything, but we keep on ending up short. Do I split the bills and take care of my own, and hope he does the same? This is my dilemma.
Consequently, my father was a financial planner. I KNOW better.
Sincerely,
D.M.
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Dear D.M.,
Your situation is more common than you may think. Financial issues are often at the heart of marriage problems. I too have found it difficult to talk to my husband about money. We were raised very differently and often have totally different values about money.
There is a book called Smart Couples Finish Rich, by David Bach. I read it to my husband on our way up North (it was a four hour drive, and he was trapped in the car). At first, he seemed irritated and wanted me to stop, but then I used the”Values Ladder” exercise and started asking him about his goals and why they were important to him. This he liked, and before we knew it I wanted to support his goals too. It started us working as a team, because we weren’t focused on our spending, but what we wanted out of life and why that was important.
Your husband my be scared too, but doesn’t want you to know how he feels. Get away to a neutral ground and have a talk about how important he is to you and how you want to have a wonderful life together. Ask him what he wants one year, three years and ten years out. Then ask him why those goals are important to him (his values). Once you know why, then you can ask if he wants to work together to make the goals a reality. Share your goals and values with him too. Put them on paper in the workbook I sent you. And then, ask him if the two of you can sit down with a financial planner to create a plan. I hope this helps—please let me know!
Warm Regards,
Katana Abbott
The Smart Women’s Coach™
