Many of you have been following the story of my journey as the Designated Daughter. Last fall, my 87 year old step-father fell, injured his head, was taken to Beaumont Hospital for treatment. While taking an x-ray for an intestinal blockage, it was discovered that Dale also had lung cancer. My Dad and his physician chose not to do chemo and instead I took Dale to the Center for Holistic Medicine in West Bloomfield. This was the perfect choice for Dale. Other than the lesions on his lung, he was in great health. For the next nine months, he was symptom free. His x-rays looked good and he remained very active and we were all elated.

During this time, I had moved my parents to Independence Village in White Lake...just 10 minutes from my house. It was perfect. They had a very active social live there, he drove his car everywhere... never missing a family function, came to our home each Sunday for dinner, a few games of pool and to watch Grey’s Anatomy and Desperate Housewives before venturing back home late in the night.

In June, he was diagnosed with shingles and his health changed dramatically until October 21st when he called our home early in the morning saying that he was dying and wanted to say goodbye to the family. He was right...he knew.

Dale died on my birthday last week...on October 24th. Hospice had been helping us during these last months. They made sure he was comfortable and in no pain. His caregivers were remarkable too. If you have never gone through this experience of watching someone die, I can only say that being prepared, having a plan and a team in place can make this experience so much easier. For three straight days, Dale’s family stayed next to his side. Hospice moved his hospital bed into the living room so he could see the pond if he woke up. Twenty four hours a day, he was surrounded by loved ones...children and even great grand children.

After helping hundreds of others plan for this type of event, it was very emotional to actually be experiencing it myself. Dealing with issues of life, death, money, first marriages, second marriages, long term care, Hospice, Medicare, wills, trusts and prescriptions can be so overwhelming. All I can say is to start this process early, talk with your loved ones, create a team and get educated. Don’t wait until you are reacting. It doesn’t have to be that way.

In honor of Dale and all my wonderful clients that have begun their spiritual journeys, I will be launching a new program in January focused on educating families on how to prepare for this aging process, so they can be prepared and able to focus on being with their loved ones without any regrets.

As a result of the planning that our family has done, my mother will be taken care of for the rest of her life financially. She is moving to Sunrise Assisted Living in West Bloomfield...only minutes away from my home! Between her pension and long term care insurance (that I recommended they purchase almost 15 years ago), she will not need to touch her investment assets to cover the $160/day or almost $60,000 annual cost of living in Assisted Living. If you haven’t visited a Sunrise facility, I would suggest a visit...it’s really quite wonderful...like a big bed and breakfast. Having this money available to cover my mother’s long term care expenses will allow us to distribute Dale’s trust assets to his children immediately. Without proper planning, these assets would have been used for medical and long term care expenses. I cried with relief when I was told that my mother was approved...what peace of mind.

Often there can be financial issues with second marriages, but with proper planning, you can take care of the spouse as well as the family from the first marriage. My step-father thanked me before he died...in fact; he called me “His Miracle Worker.” He was able to begin his next spiritual journey knowing that his wife and his children would be taken care of just the way he had planned. This was my gift to him.

~ Katana

Katana is an expert in helping women prepare for taking care of their aging parents. She has been a featured speaker with the Area Agency on Aging as well as the Federal Reserve Board’s Money $mart Week. She will soon be launching a new program called, “The Designated Daughter— living in the Sandwich Generation.” Email her at katana@smartwomenscoaching.com to receive a fr^ee copy of her article, “How to be prepared for that call in the night.”

Need a Gift Idea? Give The Gift of Inspiration! We are happy to announce that we have a gift solution for the special women in your life! Whether your friend, sister, mother, wife, cousin, neighbor, colleague or employee, think about gifting her with support to live her dreams. A Smart Women’s Coaching $mart Dollar$ Gift Certificate can be used for our personalized coaching services, or for our upcoming teleclasses, workshops, retreats and retail items. We work with women globally, so you can mail your gift anywhere! Available in denominations of $25, $50, $75, $100, $150, $250 and up. To purchase, email: info@smartwomenscoaching.com

A few months ago we wrote about Pierette Domenica Simpson and the launch of her book, “Alive on the Andrea Doria; The Greatest Sea Rescue in History.” Pierette is the first survivor of the historic collision and sinking of the Andrea Doria to write a book about the terrifying ordeal, and it’s publication in the US and Italy coincided with the 50th anniversary of the historic event. It chronicles the actual collision, with touching survivor stories and a detailed accounting of what maritime scientists have learned actually caused the collision...it’s a riveting page turner! In this month’s Smart Women Talk we learn from Pierette what inspired her to sit down and write the story she has carried within her since childhood. Just before she began her Italian book tour, she offered encouragement for women who have a dream to take the leap and make it a reality. Click the link below to hear the interview. Her book is a great read, and super gift for anyone who loves adventure and non- fiction. To purchase, or to learn more about the book and the author, visit www.pierettesimpson.com.

Katana and I enjoyed a wonderful event the other night, and we’d like to share some of the evening with you! Women’s Lifestyle Magazine Publisher Melinda Curtis and Executive Chef Frank Turner of Matt Prentice Catering teamed up to present a festive evening of food, gift giving and love to benefit Big Family of Michigan, a marvelous organization dedicated to making life better for Michigan’s hard to place adoptable children. Founder Jeanne Farmer, former foster child and angel to so many, was on hand to talk about the wonderful work the organization is involved in. You, too, can be an angel and make a difference in some foster child’s life this Christmas, contact www.bigfamilyof michigan.org.

Chef Frank Turner presented a Holiday Cook & Learn demonstration at Trevarrow in Auburn Hills. The dishes Frank prepared featured many Michigan grown ingredients, and incorporated the concept of “Slow Food.” (Slow Food in a nutshell: The Slow Food movement is dedicated to supporting and celebrating the food traditions of our area; by reviving the pleasures of the table, and using our tastebuds as our guides, our food heritage can be saved. More on this incredibly important topic in another issue).

Frank’s menu started with an imaginative vegetarian appetizer of Lentil Wild Rice Sliders, followed by Butternut Squash and Apple Bisque with Almond Gremolata served in shot glasses (very exciting presentation, try it!) and Michigan Smoked Whitefish Pate. The climax was the perennial holiday favorite, succulent roast turkey, except this one was a “stress free” version as Frank demonstrated how to prepare most of it the day before, and still bring to the table a perfectly roasted and steaming bird. We thought that smart women (and men) would love that brilliant time saving idea!

Here we share with you Frank’s recipe for his marvelous soup, and if you are local and interested in contacting him call 248 432- 1370.

Butternut Squash & Apple Bisque Soup

Ingredients:

• 2T Unsalted Butter
• 1/3 C Leeks White (rinsed and diced)
• 3C Tart Sweet Apples- Braeburn (peeled and diced)
• 1C Potato (peeled and diced)
• 3 C Butternut Squash (peeled and diced)
• 1/3C Dry Sherry
• 4C Vegetable or Chicken Stock
• 1/2lb. Maytag Bleu Cheese
• 1 1/4 C Light Cream
• Diamond Crystal Kosher Salt (to taste)
• Fresh Ground Black Pepper
• Juice of One Fresh Orange (strained)
• 1THoney
• ¼ tsp Freshly Grated Nutmeg
• 1 ½ T High Quality Curry Powder (lightly toasted)

Method:

In medium saucepan, melt the butter and sauté the squash, leeks and potatoes until soft, not brown. Add the apples and cook until they just begin to soften. Add the wine and two cups of the stock and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to a simmer. Crumble and add the bleu cheese and stir until the cheese melts. Add the cream and season with salt, pepper, orange juice, honey, nutmeg and curry.

Transfer to a blender or food processor and puree (in batches if necessary), adding more stock if desired for thinner consistency.

Return to heat but be careful not to boil as it will tend to curdle.

Garnish soup with a small spoonful of almond Gremolata and a dollop of maple crème fraiche. (Simply add pure maple syrup to crème fraiche). Serve in tall shot or vodka glasses and enjoy!

Almond Gremolata (Walnuts can also be used)

Ingredients:

• 1 ½ C Hand Chopped Toasted Almonds
• 3 Hand Minced Garlic Cloves
• 1 ½ T Minced Orange Zest
• 1 ½ T Minced Lemon Zest
• 2 oz. Minced Fine Herbs
• 2T Virgin Olive Oil
• ½ tsp. Kosher Salt

Method:

Gently toss together.

What’s Your Favorite Holiday Recipe???? ‘Tis the season for sharing, we thought it would be fun to share recipes! Please email your favorite holiday recipe to us by November 30. Your recipe may be published in our December newsletter for all to enjoy.

Take a journey of personal discovery with Smart Women’s Coaching this winter and explore the magical beaches and jungles of Costa Rica where you will not only experience paradise, but return fully rejuvenated and ready to live your life with more purpose, passion and abundance.

During this 7- day all inclusive retreat at Rancho Armadillo, situated high above the Pacific on a private 25 acre estate in Playa Del Coco, we have arranged for SWC to have exclusive use of this exotic resort where you and 10 other smart women will enjoy a week long adventure of spa services, yoga, sailing and just relaxing...no cell phones, no emails and no demands on your time. You will return home with a step by step plan to make time for yourself, get paid what you are worth and how to live the life of your dreams.

Don’t miss this life changing experience. Be sure to reserve your spot immediately!

Dear Friends and Family,

When I realized this is letter # 13 I almost changed it to # 14. That's pretty silly isn't it? But it rather illustrates what I wanted to tell you about in this letter, which are the superstitions, strange beliefs (strange to us, that is) and unusual tribal customs of the Basotho.

But first, a personal update. I'm living in the lap of luxury at the moment in our T. house in Maseru. I had a bit of an accident and so I'm here under the watchful eyes of our top rate PC doctors. It is nothing serious. A horse, not my wonderful horse but a nasty brute that has, actually, kicked me before--kicked me for the second time. It's a long and boring story but let's just say I couldn't get out of the way in time and he got me in the lower leg. His hoof made a pretty deep gash, which I took care of as best I could in the village. Unfortunately, it festered. I came into Maseru to have it looked at and was taken to the hospital for a bit of unpleasant surgery.

My leg is now stitched up, propped up and doing fine. I feel like a princess. If I need to get anywhere I call for a car and driver. I had fresh brewed coffee, chilled watermelon and a tasty sweet roll for breakfast. My laptop is plugged into an actual wall socket. There is a phone at my right hand, a bathroom down the hall and several other PCV's staying here at the moment that love to play Scrabble!! I love the Peace Corps!

We want to thank you for supporting us over the last few months. Please share this newsletter with your friends and colleagues that you feel would want to be part of our community! We hope you are enjoying our new programs. Please let us know—we would love to hear from you! Send your comments to info@s martwomenscoaching.com and be sure to check out our new website and sign up for our fr^ee 7 part audio mini course, “Your Perfect Life Focus” to learn how to Attract the Life of Your Dreams!