For those of you who have been reading this newsletter for a while, you may be aware that my step- father passed away last October of lung cancer and my mother is living at Sunrise Assisted Living. She loves it there by the way. Although she is the youngest resident, she enjoys helping direct the memory games and attending all the group activities. Ten days ago, I took her out for a manicure and dinner. She was doing so well and seemed so happy when I dropped her off.

The next morning, I received a call that she had fallen the night before in the shower and was being taken to the hospital. My mother suffers from Petite Mal Seizures and the early stages of Dementia and she broke her pelvis when she fell in the shower. She is currently in rehab at the Danto’s Rehab Center.

For all of the Designated Daughters (and sons) out there, there are a few things that I would like to point out about this incident. Even though I am a Certified Financial planner, I continue to learn new things every day and I want to share these things with you:

First of all, I believe that I may have prevented this fall by insisting that she use a chair in the shower. She had taken it out because it was in the way...and of course, she felt so good...she didn’t think she needed it.

Secondly, while she was in the hospital, I spoke to the doctor and made sure that she would be receiving rehabilitation at a Medicare-approved facility and that she would not be released from the hospital before three days (this is a requirement to have the first 21 days paid for by Medicare). Now they are telling me that she does not have coverage for Skilled Nursing Care on her health insurance policies, so I am filing a claim with a group long term care policy that my step- father took out years ago.

Next, while going through her mail, I found a notice that her Medicare had been cancelled on January 25th for non-payment. I called Social Security to see why it wasn’t being deducted automatically. The representative said that she should not be receiving Social Security. I had a letter that showed not only was she eligible, but then verified that they had taken the $98 out in January. I had a coupon to pay the premium, noted the name of the person on the phone, express-mailed the premium to the Medicare premium center (by the way, they do not have a phone number!) and then was told that someone from Social Security would be contacting me to follow up. That was 10 days ago!

Finally, do you see how complicated all of this can be. All I can say is that this role of the Designated Daughter is a huge responsibility and what would be happening here if I was not on top of all these issues? By the way, I saw my mother yesterday and she is walking—with the help of a walker!!! She is writing letters and giving me orders about taking care of her cat and bringing her more things from her place, so I know she is getting better and will be going home soon!

When you become the Designated Daughter, your job is to assess these kinds of dangers and then communicate them to both your loved one and her care givers. Sunrise also handles my mother’s medications. I asked myself if she could handle them okay herself? Probably, but is it worth the risk? She pays another $300 per month to have her medications managed and dispensed for her and I believe it’s worth the extra cost.

Last month, I moderated an Elder Care Panel Discussion for the Washtenaw County Bar Association. Experts from ElderLaw, long term care insurance, reverse mortgages, and clinical psychology were all represented on this panel. My partner, Cynthia Zimber, was sitting at a table with both attorneys and real estate agents. She said that one of the attorneys said that he was going to look into getting long term care insurance when he got back to his office...not one person at the table had long term care insurance...but they were all going to look into it as soon as they got back to the office.

The reason my mother can stay in a place like Sunrise Assisted Living, is because 15 years ago when she and my step father first were married, they not only did all their estate and financial planning, but they both purchased long term care insurance. Today my mother receives $90/day or $33,000/year tax free to cover the $60,000 annual cost. Between her pension and investments, she should never need to touch her principle. If she ever needs to go to a skilled nursing center (better known as a nursing home), she will receive $60,000 per year. By the way, my mother is currently at a skilled nursing center. I asked them how much private pay would be and they told me $250/day. That's over $91,000 per year for a semi private room!

The time to do our planning both for our finances and estate planning is now when we are between the ages of 40-60. If we wait until we are ready to retire (when college expenses are gone and perhaps the mortgage is paid off), we may not be able to qualify health-wise or the premiums may be too high. Long term care premiums are based on your current age, and normally they do not go up, unlike other types of insurance.

If you are interested in learning more, about how you can make smart choices regarding your own planning, talking to a loved one or finding good advice, please feel free to email us. We have an entire network of experts, articles, and programs that are available to help you though this maze. Sometimes, it's not what you know, but who you know that can make the difference.

For more information, our list of experts or our article on "how to be prepared for that call in the night", just email info@smartwomenscoaching.com and write "Designated Daughter" in the subject line.

~ Katana

Katana is an expert in helping women prepare for taking care of their aging parents. She has been a featured speaker with the Area Agency on Aging as well as the Federal Reserve Board’s Money $mart Week. She will soon be launching a new program called, “The Designated Daughter^TM— Living in the Sandwich Generation.” For more information, you can visit her website at www. Smartwomenscoaching.com
 

Last Thursday, February 1st, we interviewed two women who re-invented their lives – one by a conscious choice, and the other by a major event that took place. Susie Dubin, two time heart attack survivor spoke to us on how this event change her life and Jane Lee shared with us how working with a coach and creating a plan helped her find the courage to leave a high level executive position to follow her dream to launch a speaking career. Susie closed her interview with a poem written by Linda Ellis entitled, “The Dash”...a beautiful poem about what you do with your life which is signified by the “dash” on the tombstone. Click here to hear this interview online or click here to download.

This past Friday, February 9th, Jill Jordan was interviewed by host, Lisa Marie on her talk show, “MetroChick radio” ~ WNZK 690am on the topic of, “Does Your Appearance Affect Getting and Keeping a Job?” Jill shared tips on creating your “signature style” in order to brand yourself to achieve either your personal or professional goals. Contact her for a personal consultation or to book a workshop at your company.

On Thursday, February 15th, Jill Jordan and Katana Abbott of Smart Women’s Coaching will participate in the American Heart Association’s “Go Red for Women” luncheon and fashion at the Marriott Renaissance Center in Detroit. Jill has been on the executive leadership team for three years now helping to bring awareness to the public of the #1 killer of women – heart disease. The Detroit Go Red fundraiser is 2nd only to New York. Detroit continues to give even in times of economic challenges with the auto industry and unemployment.

Thursday, March 1, 2007, don’t miss the “Women and Leadership in the Workplace” annual conference and awards luncheon at Burton Manor from 7:30 am to 2:30 pm. For information and to register, please visit www.michbusiness.org or contact Jill direct at jill@smartwomenscoaching.com. The full day event, including lunch is only $75. The first 10 to sign up will be invited to join Jill at her table. Jill will be participating in the first session – “Is Your Career Controlling You...Or Are You Controlling Your Career?”, along with Dr. Marilyn French Hubbard, Henry Ford Health System, and Lisa Wicker from The Winning Spirit.

Friday, March 2, 2007, The Fashion Group International is sponsoring a career day for fashion and design students at Glen Oaks Country Club from 9am – 3pm. Smart Women’s Coaching will be there giving tips on how to win the job! Contact us for details to “Dare to Design Your Future”.
 

Have you caught the Law of Attraction buzz that’s been building over the last several years? You might have read one of scores of books that have been written on the subject of attracting into your life that which you truly desire, from the 1910 classic, “The Science of Getting Rich” to any number of books written over decades. This past year you may have viewed the film “The Secret” or seen the recent Larry King specials or Oprah program, all of which focused on talking about the Law of Attraction with teachers from the movie.

At a large party the other night I overheard some people talking about the Oprah program. They were completely taken by the concept and were animatedly discussing this “new discovery” of the Law of Attraction. It was quite exciting for me to listen to them as this “new discovery” has always been and always will be - it’s just that many of us were unaware of it! Knowing how the Law of Attraction works in all of our lives is the secret that can bring into our lives what we desire. The Law of Attraction is the connection between our desires, thoughts, feelings/beliefs and energy. The simplest way to describe it is that like attracts like; surely something we may have heard for years, though perhaps not with this deeper meaning attached.

Here is how it works: When we have a desire, we want to experience something in particular, whether it be a job, a baby, a new or better relationship, health, more income, or anything at all that we value. In order to have that object/experience of our desire show up in our lives, our “inner world” has to match the “outer” experience of having it. That is to say our vibration has to be set to match what we want to attract. Here are the beginning steps to putting the Law at work producing what you want in your life:

Be specific about what you truly desire
Wanting “any job” will produce “any job” so give the creative medium of the Universe, which is the Law, something more specific to work with! You see, it does not know “big” or “little,” “good” or “bad.” In a class I taught I poured Tabasco sauce, old lemon juice, fish juice and black pepper corns into a blender. The result was ugly in color, and was not drinkable. In the same “creative medium” I poured fresh orange juice, sliced mango and strawberries, an enjoyable treat. The Law of Attraction works the same way!

Believe that you can have it/eliminate negative thoughts
Energy flows where attention goes, as you might have heard Rev. Michael Beckwith say on Oprah. What we focus on expands, so think positive, uplifting and loving thoughts and eliminate the negatives in your life. Say positive things...start to practice paying attention to the words you are using, slight shifts can have a profound effect on outcome!

Act As If It Were
The next step is to envision what you want as already existing, it is here. Use visuals, such as a vision board that you can look at. Speak in terms of “I have” and “it is” rather than “if it” or “when it.” Words are powerful components because behind every statement is a thought, and behind every thought is a feeling and behind every feeling is a belief and a vibration. Your goal is to be at a high level of a positive, what I call “havingness” vibration rather than that of lack. So if you believe that you can have what you desire, and you act as if it were already here, you vibrate at that higher feeling vibration of attraction.

This is the first in a multi-part series illustrating that by focusing on utilizing the principles of the Law of Attraction positively, you can create what you truly want to show up in your life. The Law of Attraction is always at work, whether you think about it or not. Take a quick inventory of your life right now. Is there something that perhaps you say that you want, however it is not showing up and not showing up and not showing up no matter how many times you say you want it? The next article will address why what you want may not be materializing, and cover the rest of the manifestation steps of the Law of Attraction.

I’d love to hear from you if you have questions about the Law working in your life...email me at cynthia@smartwomenscoaching.com. Do get your copy of “The Secret” if you haven’t seen it by visiting www.thesecret.tv.

Cynthia Zimber is a Perfect Life Coach with Smart Women’s Coaching and has been professionally trained to teach others how to create more of what they want in their lives.
 

Dear Family and Friends;

It’s hard for me to believe I’ve been here almost a year. I arrived in Africa on June 1, 2004 and figured in my heart of hearts I’d last about three weeks. Actually, my ultimate goal was to stick it out for a year. I figured then I’d be able to return home not in complete disgrace.

It doesn’t seem like I’ve gotten much done in the past twelve months – my list of unfinished projects is very long – I guess I’ll just have to stay a wee bit longer. There is so much that I love about being here and so much else that makes me want to turn tail and catch the next flight out.

Here are some of the things I love about this experience:

• Serving in the US Peace Corps has been both an honor and a privilege. - Both its purpose and its ideals. I am impressed and inspired by my fellow PCVs and the good work they are doing here. And I enjoy a very gratifying sense of making my own, if very small, contribution to world peace and shared prosperity.
• The Basotho are in many ways a wonderful people – especially the Villagers. In a country challenged by extreme poverty and pandemic HIV/AIDS they carry on with their lives in a cheerful, positive way that demonstrates to me every day that it is not what we have in this life that counts but how we use it. They have taught me much and many have become my friends.
• And, of course, this is a beautiful place. The Mountain Kingdom of Lesotho is rugged and wild. The air is clean, the skies are brilliant blue and the nightly expanse of stars – horizon to horizon – opens my mind to the universe.
• My horse. Don’t laugh. Having my faithful Basotho pony just outside my door ready to take me daily through these mountains has been wonderful. He is gentle, sure footed and responds to the smallest cue. He no longer looks like Don Quixote’s emaciated mount. He’s gained a lot of weight and muscle and both looks and behaves like a proud, if gentle, Basotho stallion.
• My small projects are going very well. The American Friends of Menkhoaneng Fund has made a big difference in a lot of lives and the residents of at least a few African villages look to Americans as kind, caring and peace-loving people.

So, what’s not to like you may ask? Plenty:

• I miss my family every day – and the delightful company of friends. I so look forward to once again holding my grandchildren and watching them grow. Falling back into my comfortable, luxurious American social life is going to be heavenly.
• There are aspects of the tribal culture that make me heart sick. Corporal punishment is the norm here. It is considered quite appropriate for men to beat their wives, parents and teachers to beat their children and for everyone to beat any available animal. And, we are instructed not to interfere. We are not here to change the culture. Regardless of that dictum, I preach against it and try to demonstrate a different way.
• The government and ministries here are to a discouraging extent both corrupt and ineffective. I really don’t know why this is so. It’s a very complex issue involving the fact that Lesotho has become almost a welfare state. The country can’t support itself on the subsidence farming and the few industries that make up its GNP. Of course, this state of dependence was imposed upon this once prosperous nation by the Imperialism of both the British and the Boers. It has depended on help from other nations for so long that it seems to have lost both the concept of self- reliance and the desire to reach that state. Government employees have no productivity standards. Getting things done just doesn’t count for much. Ministries are nepotistic and job qualifications mean nothing. Jobs are given to relatives and are essentially for life. Incompetence is rampant. I work with dozens of these people. They’re nice folks – they just never seem to get things done. Meetings are like social hours. No one takes notes. I use my old Xerox meeting management techniques to no avail. Action items are ignored, communication of meeting results to stakeholders is non-existent and worst of all, and monies are continually misappropriated. It makes me crazy and I haven’t been able to do one damn thing to change it.
• My own inability to master this language is both frustrating and isolating. When I’m in government meetings the conversations are mostly in English, Lesotho’s second language and definitely it’s professional tongue. However, in the villages only Sesotho is spoken. And, visiting and chatting are what’s done here – all day, everyday. There is no TV or radio and reading is not a part of this culture. I only understand about 10% - 15% of what’s being said around me. It makes me feel very lonely, isolated and frustrated with my ignorance. Some of the younger PCVs are acquiring an enviable fluency but none of us “old folks” are doing very well in the language. Don’t get me wrong. Most of us can chat in the stores, know all the forms of greetings and can talk about our projects but to really converse and comprehend, to understand the humor or innuendo is just not happening.
• And, of course, it’s heartbreaking to be so personally involved in so much poverty and death. A few weeks ago I attended a PC sponsored two-day seminar at the US Embassy focused on grief and grieving. It was helpful in giving us some perspective on the sense of hopelessness that is a constant mental threat. But believe me, seeing the things we see here is not easy.

So that’s about it – not exactly a year in Provence but definitely one that I think I’ll always cherish. And, who knows, I could even last the whole 27 months. I’ve sure got enough to do.

That’s about it from me. Please don’t hesitate to respond to this note. I’ll be in Maseru for the next few days with hours of available Internet time and would love updates what’s happening in your life.

Love,
Peggi
 

Once in a while, you come across a book that you just have to get on the roof top to tell all your friends about. Well, I have found one of those books and it’s written by Marie Forleo, world-renowned life coach and fitness personality. I ran across her interview in my friend, Lynn’s Klippel’s Sorority Talk Radio show.

The book is called “Make Every Man Want You (or Make Yours Want You More) How to Be So Damn Irresistible You’ll Barely Keep From Dating Yourself!” Now if that title isn’t enough to get you to order this book immediately, let me tell you that this book is a special gift and it could change your life...really!

Marie is very aware of the Law of Attraction and has created a guide that will help every women learn how to be irresistibly attractive to anyone in her life. Imagine feeling confident and secure while empowering yourself and others at the same time. Not only will you learn to find your inner power, but you will learn to enjoy your life more...how to actually feel pleasure and not feel guilty, as well! Our lives have become so fast paced and competitive, that it’s inspiring to find a book that each woman will want to read over and over again, while sharing it with her girlfriends, mothers and daughters!

Here is what Lynn Rose, Motivational Singer, Speaker and TV & Radio Host had to say:

“I am BLOWN AWAY by your book. It is RIGHT ON and like a breath of FRESH AIR – like you’ve given me permission to breath. The freedom that this book will provide to all those that read it is astounding. This is a MUST READ for ALL women – whether there’s a man in their life or not. THANK YOU for your amazing work and beautiful heart. I’m deeply moved and transformed from reading your book and ready to let the full irresistible me out there 24/7.”

To learn more about Marie and order this book, visit www.makeeverymanwantyou.com.